So this happend. My chief at work just told me that I’ll be at another workplace for tommorow because they need people there (Christmas time and stuff, you know..). And. I. PANICKED. Why? Because this place (where I am going to be tommorow) is full of people on daily basis. And now when it’s Christmas, it will be full as never. How am I suppose to handle this? HOW?
First things first I should probably explain why it is such a big deal for me. Well, I am scared of people, scared of a big crowd, scared of being judge and so. That’s it. And even though I am trying to recover from this, I now that tommorow will be the worst.
I was thinking about what should I do to calm myself down. Should I read? Or sleep? Should I go for a walk? ..No. So I’ve decided to kind of write it out of my head. And listen some music – of course. Music can calm me down in a way that nothing else can. Especially metal music. I know – it sounds really weird, but it does. It’s the only thing that screams louder than my internal voice, louder than my whole mind and louder than my anxiety. And writing? Yes, that’s pretty calming activity too. Well, at least for me. You know, I don’t really think about things I write. I just write and stop after certain time. And then I write again until my mind is empty. And sometimes I write just to keep myself busy. Just to forget about the entire world and to get myself into the point where I can see just two things – Me and the keyboard.